The Rules of getting laid (0ff):

1. Sign up for unemployment.  Now.  Seriously, stop reading this, ctrl+T a new tab, type www.google.com, then “file for unemployment [insert your state]“.  When you’re done with that, come back here and read on.  It may take up to an hour to go through your first enrollment; don’t worry, we’ll still be here.
2. Seriously?  Did you get fired for not following directions?  I know it’s a PITA and dealing with the bureaucracy makes you want to jump out of a window, but that extra check every week will make your life that much less stressful.  Also, you paid into that system – that’s your money they are holding.  Now be strong and follow rule #1.

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